What you are about to read is a transcription of a leaked audio tape from Matlock State Hospital, a Nebraska state facility housing the criminally insane and those whose sanity is being evaluated for the criminal justice system. Audience discretion is advised.
TAPE STARTS
Dr. Ward: Hi, Thomas. Come on in, have a seat.
Tommy: Call me ‘Tommy’.
Dr. Ward: Sure, of course. Well, Tommy, I’m Doctor Rachel Ward, I’m your assigned psychiatrist, today.
Tommy: I know that. [Pause] Like… I’m well aware.
Dr. Ward: All right, well then we can get started. So, they told me you’re awaiting trial, is that right?
Tommy: It’s not right. But it is correct.
Dr. Ward: Okay, well they think it might be helpful if we have a discussion about that, today. Is that all right with you?
Tommy: What’s it matter if that’s all right with me? I’m not here of my own volition. So, why do you bother asking?
Dr. Ward: What you’re saying isn’t correct. You’re forced within these walls, but no one’s requiring that we have a productive discussion. So, I ask the question again: is it all right with you?
Tommy: Sure, I guess.
Dr. Ward: Very good. Would it be all right, then, for you to tell me about what’s been going on, Tommy?
Tommy: What’s been going on?
Dr. Ward: That’s right.
Tommy: In the world? Or…
Dr. Ward: With you, with your situation.
Tommy: Ah, I see. Okay, let’s see. [Pause] Well, you’re gonna think it sounds stupid, but then again, I don’t really… care. [Pause] You know, it…it seems so silly that I’m sitting here talking to you.
Dr. Ward: Why is that?
Tommy: Because, you’re like a child. No, more like a toddler. And I’m like an old man.
Dr. Ward: [Laughs] So, you’re saying that you’re smarter than me?
Tommy: Smarter… hmm. No, I wouldn’t quite use that term. I’d say ‘knowledgable’.
Dr. Ward: Well, I do have a Ph.D.
Tommy: [Laughs] Oh, right. Right, sorry, when I said ‘toddler’, I meant ‘kindergartener’. My bad.
Dr. Ward: Tommy, if you don’t mind, I think we’re straying from the matter at hand.
Tommy: [Irritated] What is you want to know?
Dr. Ward: I want to know what you’re going through, what your situation is so we can work through it.
Tommy: Ooo, lady, I’m afraid there ain’t no diagnosis for the shit I’ve seen.
Dr. Ward: We’ll see. Let’s hear it.
Tommy: [Takes deep breath] ‘Kay. [Pause] Just out of curiosity—this is relevant, by the way—have you ever had any patients come in, talking about their Uncle Victor?
Dr. Ward: Pardon? Uncle Victor? [Pause] No, can’t say I have.
Tommy: Hmm, I suppose I’ll be your first, then.
Dr. Ward: So your problems are with your uncle? Your Uncle Victor?
Tommy: That’s exactly right.
Dr. Ward: Tell me about Victor.
Tommy: He’s tall, he’s thin. Really thin. You can see his bones. Um, balding. Uh… old, maybe sixty.
Dr. Ward: Maybe sixty?
Tommy: That’s right.
Dr. Ward: Now, you say that as if he’s a stranger. You say ‘maybe sixty’. You don’t know his age?
Tommy: He never told me.
Dr. Ward: Uh-huh. [Pause] Continue.
Tommy: Let’s see… where was I?
Dr. Ward: Describing.
Tommy: That’s right. Well, Victor, he smiles a lot. Yeah, a lot. But his smiles were never wholly warm. They were always, like…[Pause] They always carried this hint of—oh, what’s the right word—of mischievousness. Kinda menacing, in a way. It varied in intensity, but it was always at least somewhat there. Like, kinda like this…
Dr. Ward: I see. There was something untrustworthy about it.
Tommy: Well, that’s just it, you see. I trusted him fully, from the very beginning. In fact, I knew him very well. Of course, everyone else told me the opposite.
Dr. Ward: What do you mean by ‘they told you the opposite’?
Tommy: Well, for starters, after commonly spending quality time with Victor for years during my childhood, my parents just one day told me that I didn’t have an uncle named ‘Victor’.
[Long silence]
Dr. Ward: Tell me more.
Tommy: I was fifteen, and I –
Dr. Ward: Sorry, how old are you now?
Tommy: I’m twenty. But, um, anyway, I was fifteen. And I had just gotten done fishing with Victor. And I got back, and I told my parents all about how I had caught so many fish, and how quickly I caught them, this and that…and then I said that Uncle Victor hadn’t caught any. And they were like ‘who?’ And I said ‘Uncle Victor’. And they just stared at me with confused expressions, with the utmost concern. [Laughs] Side note, my dad even went down to the police station, they thought I was being stalked by a child molester. I mean, at fifteen? [Laughs] But, be that as it may, I just remember being highly…confused and frustrated. I was all like, ‘are you guys crazy? Uncle Victor. You know Uncle Victor!’ You know?
Dr. Ward: So, let me get this right. You swear you have an uncle named ‘Victor’, but no one else in the family knows him?
Tommy: What you just stated is true for my fifteen-year-old self.
Dr. Ward: Gotcha. But now you know the truth?
Tommy: Sweetie, I know everything.
Dr. Ward: No, I mean that now you know that you don’t have an Uncle Victor?
[Pause]
Tommy: Well, your question is flawed in its very nature. I mean, you ask if I now know that I don’t have an uncle named ‘Victor’. But that’s a loaded question. [Pause] You know?
Dr. Ward: [Irritated] I-I’m just trying to gauge what’s changed between now and when you were fifteen.
Tommy: Well, okay. [Pause] So, if by ‘uncle’ you mean somebody who is, say, the brother of my dad, or something of this nature, then you are correct, I do not have an Uncle Victor. But saying something as arbitrary as ‘you don’t have an Uncle Victor’ stems from being ignorant of the matter at hand.
[Pause]
Dr. Ward: You know, something just occurred to me.
Tommy: What’s that?
Dr. Ward: Well, just a minute ago, you asked if I had any other patients come in and talk about their Uncle Victor.
Tommy: That’s right.
Dr. Ward: How is that possible? That multiple others would have the same exact issue with this same ‘Victor’ person that you do?
[Pause]
Tommy: I think it’s time I go into more detail about Victor. I now see that, yes, that question would be nonsensical to you, given that you know nothing about Victor. [Pause] When I was about thirteen, I used to go fishing at this pond near my house. Usually by myself, too, I wasn’t a real sociable kid. I liked to keep to myself and all of that. So, anyway, one day after school, I’m doing my usual little fishing trip down at the pond. I sit down, I bait my hook, I cast the line, and I’m fishing for about thirty minutes.
Then, all of a sudden—and I mean all of a sudden, like, out of nowhere—comes this tall, skinny old man. He just walked up to me from the tree line. And immediately upon looking at him, before he even opened his mouth and said one damned thing, I knew exactly who he was. It was my Uncle Victor, who I’d known all my life. And, sure enough, he looks at me, and he’s beaming that old ‘Uncle Victor smile’, and he says: ‘Tommy! It’s me! It’s your Uncle Victor!’
And he’s prancing around, waving his arms around excitedly, doing this sort of…circus clown-type dance. And then, he sits down next to me. And he pulls a fishing pole out of thin air, and he starts fishing with me. He’s asking me about school, giving me profound life advice, not to mention fishing advice [Laughs].
Dr. Ward: I see. And so, you say that you recognized Victor the second you saw him, before he even said anything?
Tommy: That is correct.
Dr. Ward: But you also imply that this was your first time seeing Victor. There’s a contradiction, there.
Tommy: Precisely.
[Long silence]
Dr. Ward: Um, so –
Tommy: Do you think I had any more of an idea on that day than you do, now? I was just as confused as you are.
Dr. Ward: Are you still confused?
Tommy: No, not in the slightest. Everything makes sense, now. In time, though, Doc. In time. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
Dr. Ward: Very well.
Tommy: Now, where was I? [Pause] So, this sort of thing continued for the next couple of years. Some days, Victor wouldn’t show. But other days, he would just walk up from the tree line, just like before, and come and fish with me. I would say…about half of the days out of the week, Victor wouldn’t be there. But then, the other half, he would show up.
Dr. Ward: What kind of stuff would the two of you talk about?
Tommy: You know, like I said, he’d give life advice, ask me about school, all that good stuff. Just like a regular family member.
Dr. Ward: Was any of the advice he gave ever questionable?
[Pause]
Tommy: Not at that time, no.
Dr. Ward: When did it start to get questionable?
Tommy: Well, we’ll get to that. So, then of course, like I said before, when I was fifteen, my parents told me that I didn’t have an uncle named ‘Victor’. Or an uncle in general.
Dr. Ward: How come that took two years?
Tommy: That’s a good question. I have no idea. I mean, there was this idea planted in my head that my parents knew Victor, and also that they knew he came fishing with me from time-to-time.
Dr. Ward: ‘Planted’? Sort of like your recognition of Victor?
Tommy: Precisely. So, anyway, as I mentioned earlier, my father had the idea that this ‘Uncle Victor’ guy was some sex offender, and so he forbade me from going fishing, anymore. And then he went to the police about it, got the neighborhood watch in on a manhunt. [Pause] We didn’t even have one guy…ONE GUY in our neighborhood with the name ‘Victor’.
And then, when my dad found that out, he found that there was only one guy in the neighborhood across from ours who had the name ‘Victor’. He was some 30-year-old, didn’t fit my description. My dad figured Victor was using another name so he wouldn’t get caught.
Dr. Ward: So, your parents were really determined to find this guy, huh?
Tommy: Mhmm.
Dr. Ward: Did they ever find him?
[Long silence]
Dr. Ward: What?
Tommy: You think Victor was some child molester, too, huh?
Dr. Ward: It sounds like that’s the case, Tommy.
Tommy: Hmm…well, think what you want, but there’s more to this than a surface-level explanation such as that.
Dr. Ward: All right, then. Continue.
[Pause]
Dr. Ward: What are you looking at?
Tommy: That photo. On your desk. Is that your husband?
Dr. Ward: Um, yeah it is.
Tommy: Hmm. [Pause] Let me ask you something.
Dr. Ward: Sure.
Tommy: Do you believe in an afterlife?
Dr. Ward: We’re Catholic. Mhmm.
Tommy: [Laughs] Oh, boy. That is rich.
Dr. Ward: You don’t believe in an afterlife?
Tommy: I didn’t say that. I also didn’t say anything about belief. As a matter –
[Inaudible for seven seconds. This distortion is in the audio tape as obtained from Matlock State Hospital]
Tommy: …on that, later. In fact, the only one in this room that is exercising belief—or the lack thereof—is you. I am telling you what I know. In turn, you choose whether or not to believe it.
Dr. Ward: [Laughs] Well, okay. Tommy, I’d like to hear more about your situation. What happened after? What was the aftermath of your parents, uh, finding out about Victor?
Tommy: So, I believe I mentioned they forbade me from fishing down at that dock, any longer.
Dr. Ward: Correct.
Tommy: Right. Well, a few weeks—or maybe it was a month—went by. And, you know, I had no friends. Like I said, I was a loner. So, without the fishing activity every day after school, I was bored out of my mind. Sure, I had video games and all of that, but after a while, it was maddening.
Dr. Ward: Right, right.
Tommy: So, one day, about a month later, I came home from school. I played video games until dinner, and then played more video games after. It’s about…10 o’clock now. My parents were both asleep. I’m sitting at home, and I suddenly think, ‘good god, I cannot sit here and play video games any longer. I simply cannot’. So, I got up, I grabbed my fucking fishing pole, got my tackle box, and I snuck out, headed for the pond. And that…[Laughs], that is when the real shit started happening.
Dr. Ward: Yeah?
Tommy: Yeah. So, I get to the dock. And to my surprise, standing at the end of the dock, his back to me, looking out at the pond, is Uncle Victor. He had his hands clasped behind his back like an army general, or something. It was weird, not once had he been there, waiting for me. He always showed up after I arrived at the pond. So, right off the bat, I knew something was up.
Dr. Ward: He had never once gotten there before you?
Tommy: Not one damn time. Not one. But he did, this time. And even just upon seeing that, I knew something wasn’t right. I knew it. So, I just kinda stood there for a few seconds. You know, real sheepish, not really knowing what to do.
I was about to speak, and he must’ve known I was about to say something, ‘cause Uncle Victor sure as hell was gonna have the first word. Still looking out at the pond, he says ‘Isn’t it beautiful? The moonlight on the water?’
And I said, ‘Yeah’. And then there was another long silence, Victor standing there with his back to me, still as a statue. And then he says, ‘Where have you been?’ And I’m standing there, not knowing what to say, I was just silent. And Victor says, a little louder this time: ‘I asked you a question, Tommy’.
So, I started stammering, you know? I didn’t wanna bring up my parents thinking he was a sex offender, and shit. So I ended up stammering out something like, ‘Oh, I got grounded for playing video games past my bedtime.’
So then Victor says, ‘So what? You didn’t come and tell me so that I wouldn’t show up and be by myself? It’s hard fishing alone. Maddening, even.’ And so, then I started to say something, but before I could even start my sentence, Uncle Victor spins around and looks right at me. And when he looked at me…[Shudders]
I had never seen someone make a face like that. It was so angry. I mean, you wanna talk about seeing red? He had hellfire in his eyes. He looked like a viper that was ready to plunge its fangs into something. I swear to god, every one of his facial muscles was contracted to the max. I don’t know how I didn’t shit myself.
Dr. Ward: What happened next?
Tommy: He charged at me like a rhinoceros, or something. Before I could even flinch, Victor picked me up off of the ground and held me up. And he started shaking me, screaming at me at the top of his lungs. He said ‘What kind of disrespect is that?! You insolent little shit!’
The rest is a blur. The rest of what he said, I mean. I just remember crying and crying and crying. He had never spoken to me that way, ever. After a while of Victor yelling at me, I just kinda shut my eyes and waited for it to be over. And then…silence.
I opened my eyes, and he was gone. I was just sitting there, ass in the dirt, looking out at the pond. Victor was right, too. That pond did look beautiful. So, after that, I went home, couldn’t fall asleep that night, of course. And the next morning, when I woke up, I felt myself sinking into a deep depression.
Dr. Ward: Why were you depressed?
Tommy: Not a clue. No idea. But it lasted for the next five years, all the way through to the present day. I still feel it. I tried suicide a couple times, but I got stopped both times. Guess I suck at killing myself [Laughs].
Dr. Ward: And did you see Victor again during this time?
Tommy: Only once, since that night he screamed at me. I went years without seeing him.
Dr. Ward: And how did you feel about not seeing him?
Tommy: Indifferent. Didn’t matter either way. I didn’t miss him, nor was I necessarily glad that he was gone. And that, in turn, drove me even more crazy.
Dr. Ward: What did?
Tommy: My own indifference. I felt like a…robot. It was very strange.
Dr. Ward: So, Uncle Victor leaving had nothing to do with your depression, as far as you can tell?
Tommy: Well, I didn’t know, you know? I couldn’t consciously say, ‘yes, this is why I feel depressed’. I was more, just, depressed in general. I didn’t eat, I didn’t have fun, I didn’t smile. Existence became an empty vacuum. It was like…
[Long pause]
Tommy: Existence felt like a long and seemingly endless hallway, in which there would be a door. And I would open that door, only to find that on the other side of that door was just another door. And I would open that one, and that door, too, lead to another door. And so on, and so forth.
Dr. Ward: So, you felt like life didn’t yield anything positive?
Tommy: Positive or negative. I felt like life didn’t yield anything. Positive or negative. My indifference to everything…incredibly soul-crushing.
Dr. Ward: I see. That’s hard.
Tommy: Mhmm.
Dr. Ward: Would you say it’s better, now? Your depression?
Tommy: [Laughs] Are you kidding? Worse. Far worse. But…different. The whole ‘hallway of doors’ thing…no longer applicable. In fact, it seems silly, now.
Dr. Ward: Why is that?
Tommy: To understand my reasoning for that, you’ll need to know about Uncle Victor’s most recent visit.
Dr. Ward: Let’s hear.
Tommy: I have to warn you, though. Once you hear it, it can’t be unheard.
Dr. Ward: Of course. [Laughs] I think I can handle it.
Tommy: Hmm. Your laughter indicates that you don’t quite realize the…magnitude of what I am about to tell you.
Dr. Ward: My apologies.
Tommy: But, I do suppose you can make the choice of not believing what I say. As a matter of fact…it might be your best course of action.
Dr. Ward: Is that right?
Tommy: It is correct.
Dr. Ward: Noted. Now, tell me about your Uncle Victor’s last visit, if you would.
Tommy: Very well. [Takes deep breath] This was about a month ago. Recently, I’d been going to community college. Hated it. My depression was at an all-time high. I was planning suicide, again. One night, I just couldn’t take it. My insomnia was killing me, and nothing was worth a damn anymore. So, I got up and headed down to the pond with a cinderblock in my hands, chained to my ankle. I made sure that chain was TIGHT, too. Real tight. I had to make sure it worked, this time.
So, I get to the pond, and I’m standing at the edge of the dock, right? Doing my Hail-Mary’s and my God-forgive-me’s. And just as I’m about to toss that cinderblock into the pond, the very SECOND before it slips from my fingers, I hear a familiar voice behind me. ‘Tommy!’
And I look over my shoulder. As I live and breathe, it’s Uncle Victor. He’s standing at the opposite end of the dock, just standing there, staring at me with that wild grin.
Dr. Ward: How did that make you feel? Seeing him again?
Tommy: Uh…for some reason, everything felt fine. I immediately set the cinderblock down on the dock with the utmost care. I no longer felt the urge to kill myself, and I no longer felt sad. But, again, it didn’t feel directly connected to Victory, you know? It was more indirect, I guess. As if he had pushed some sort of button that flushed the depression out.
Dr. Ward: I see.
Tommy: And so then Victor says ‘Let’s get you out of those chains, my boy!’ And he walks over, and he touches his fingertips to the chains, and they just…snapped off.
Dr. Ward: Snapped off?
Tommy: Yeah, as if they’d been clipped by chain cutters. But he didn’t have a pair on him. He just snapped ‘em right off.
Dr. Ward: Uh-huh.
Tommy: I can tell by your expression that you don’t believe me. That’s…that’s okay, that’s fine. I don’t give a shit.
Dr. Ward: No one’s saying that, Tommy. I’m just trying to make sense of it, that’s all.
Tommy: The problem is, your version of ‘sense’, of what is ‘real’, is fundamentally flawed. You can’t make sense of what I’m saying until I have reprogrammed your notion of ‘sense’. There’s much you do not know.
Dr. Ward: Enlighten me, please.
Tommy: Okay.
[Long Silence]
Tommy: One second.
Dr. Ward: Take your time.
[Long Silence]
Tommy: So, you know, then I was all like ‘Uncle Victor! Where have you been all this time?’ And he says ‘I’ve always been with you, Tommy!’ And I said, ‘No, no you haven’t!’ And he’s like, ‘Yes I have! Just because you can’t see me doesn’t mean I’m not here. I’m always here, Tommy.’ And he gives me a hug, and…yeah, it was a heartfelt family reunion, gotta say.
Then, he looks into my eyes, and he says…[Laughs], ‘I sense that you’re upset with me, Tommy.’ And I was like, ‘Well, you were deadbeat for five years, you know?’ And Victor looks down at the ground, looking like he’s thinking things over. And after a minute, he looks at me with the most BEAMING smile ever. And this one—and this was the only time I can say for sure—this smile was the only time he smiled and didn’t have that hint of deviousness in his smile. It was completely and utterly warm and inviting.
And so, he’s beaming at me, and he says ‘Tommy, I know just what we’ll do!’ And I said, ‘What?’ And Victor says, ‘I’ll take you home with me! It’ll be lots of fun! I’ll spoil you, too!’ And I said ‘You mean it?’ And he says to me, ‘Of course!’
[Pause]
Dr. Ward: And did you go with him?
Tommy: Mhmm. I sure did.
Dr. Ward: Where was his house?
Tommy: Oh, man. That’s a whole other conversation in and of itself. We’ll get to that, though, I assure you.
[Pause]
Tommy: Um, question.
Dr. Ward: Uh-huh?
Tommy: You ever been to Springfield? The town, Springfield? It’s about 45 minutes down the road?
Dr. Ward: I have, yeah. Couple times.
[Pause]
Dr. Ward: Why?
Tommy: Ever do any work over there? Clinical psychology?
Dr. Ward: No, I’ve only visited.
Tommy: Well, if you do enough digging, you can find some files from a therapist named Georgia Roana. They’re dated back to…’99, I think. Some of them, earlier than that. I think the originals were burned, and I think SHE burned them. But if you hop on the deep web…they’re there.
Dr. Ward: What’s significant about them? About the files?
Tommy: Well, you remember how earlier I asked you if you’d ever had other patients talk about ‘Uncle Victor’?
Dr. Ward: Uh-huh.
Tommy: Well, if you look into the Roana files, you’ll find that SHE has. She’s had patients talk about ‘Uncle Victor’, several of them. She ended up burning the hard copies, but only after they’d been leaked. And eventually, she ended up seeking psychiatric treatment for herself.
Dr. Ward: How do you know this?
Tommy: I know everything. I’m the merchant of truth, you could say.
Dr. Ward: Hmm. I’ve never heard of the Roana files.
Tommy: Look into it. Yeah, look into it. [Pause] Anyway, the reason I ask is because there’s a fundamental difference between MY experiences with Uncle Victor, and the experiences of her patients.
[Pause]
Dr. Ward: Which is?
Tommy: See, they had caught onto Uncle Victor’s malevolence earlier than I. And once that happens, you can bet that one will deny an invitation to Victor’s house. But, as I previously stated, I had yet to catch onto it by the time Victor invited me to his domain. None of Roana’s patients—not a single one—reported going home with Uncle Victor. Not one.
Dr. Ward: You say ‘Uncle Victor’s malevolence’. What do you mean?
Tommy: We’ll get there, yeah. We’ll get there. [Pause] So…with that being said, let’s get back to my story.
Dr. Ward: Right.
Tommy: So, I started following Uncle Victor. He lead me off of the dock and back into the forest. Usually, to get back to my house, I’d hang a right onto this path. But this time, we go left. We got out of the forest and walked out onto this road. I recognized the road, nothing unusual so far. I figured, hey, he must live in a nearby neighborhood.
So, then, we keep walking down this road, all the way past this ‘Dead End’ sign. And so, I’m thinking where the hell’s he taking me? We walk off, past the end of the street, through a field and into some woods. I keep asking ‘Where’s your house? Where’s your house?’ And he just tells me, ‘We’re almost there.’
After a while, though, Victor was the one who started growing impatient. He starts rushing me, saying ‘Hurry up, walk faster, pick up the pace.’ That smile on his face…it’s fading. So, then, we get to the edge of the forest, and there’s this beautiful meadow. It’s all moonlit, and everything, really beautiful at night.
Dr. Ward: And you’d never been there before?
Tommy: No, not at all. I had no idea where we were. And in the middle of this meadow was this nice little cottage. It was like something out of a Disney movie, I swear to god. There was even a chimney. [Laughs] It was like…Snow White, or some shit. And I’m about to comment on how beautiful it is, but Uncle Victor says, with a scowl, ‘Come on, let’s go. What are you standing there for?’ So, I start following him across the field. I have no idea what he’s so uptight about, right now. But, you know, here I am, still not feeling depressed, so I just kept following him.
We get to the cottage, and he beckons me inside. I walked in, and it was the strangest thing, ever; from the outside, the cottage looked small, you know? Like, you know, like a little cottage. But when we got inside, the place looked like a mansion. It made no sense. But because of this, I was just awestruck, you know? I mean, it must’ve been twenty-thousand square feet. On the outside, the place looked like some little Snow White cottage, but on the inside, it looked like the castle from Beauty and the Beast, or something.
So, Victor closes the door behind us. And I said, ‘Wow, this is something.’ And he looks at me, and…there’s that grin, again. He smiles at me, but this time, that smile was about one-hundred percent devious. I could almost see the wheels turning inside his head. And he looks at me like this, and he says: ‘Follow me’.
So, I follow him down this long and seemingly endless corridor. It’s so long that, after a while, I look back from where I came, but I can only see a dark void. This hallway must have been a mile long. And…[Pause] I’m sorry, I don’t like the way you’re looking at me.
Dr. Ward: I’m sorry, how…how do you mean?
Tommy: Like you’re passing judgement. If I’m going to tell you about my experience, I’m not going to be looked upon like some madman on a street corner.
Dr. Ward: My apologies, I have no intention of offending you.
Tommy: Okay.
[Long Silence]
Tommy: Anyway, so I’m following Victor down this hallway. And I keep asking him, you know, ‘Where are we going? Where are we going?’ And he looks back at me with that grin, says ‘I can’t spoil the surprise!’ He says, ‘Don’t you like surprises? You never snuck downstairs on Christmas morning, Tommy. Not once! So, I know you like surprises!’
For what must have been thirty minutes, we continued down this hallway. At the end of this insanely long hallway was a massive double-door. Big, brass doors. And Uncle Victor looks back at me, and he’s smiling and he raises his eyebrows up and down wildly, and he says ‘Are ya ready, kid?’ And I said ‘Yes’. And he pulls this set of keys out of his pocket. Must have been, like, fifty keys on that keyring. And he unlocks the doors, and he opens them.
[Long Silence]
Dr. Ward: What…what was there?
Tommy: Well, there was this massive chamber. There were candles all over the walls, marble pillars, tile, all of that. Lot of really nice furniture, there was this huge collection of marionette puppets along one of the walls. And then, Victor leads me across the chamber, to this other door. This door’s a little smaller, like a regular door.
And Victor looks back at me, and he does the thing with his eyebrows, again. And he says, ‘You’re really ready?’ And I’m like, ‘I guess’. He takes out the keyring, again. He unlocks the door, opens it up.
What I saw next…[Shudders]
Dr. Ward: What did you see?
Tommy: Hopelessness. The truth, which is this: nothing yields anything. Anything we ultimately do, any decision we ultimately make…is for naught.
[Pause]
Dr. Ward: Can you explain?
Tommy: Beyond that doorway, I saw an endless maze of corridors. A labyrinth, if you will. The ground was made up of dust, and the walls were covered in dust, and the whole place smelled of dust, musty as could be. And wandering this labyrinth were the dead. Old souls, young souls…all souls. They walked through the darkness, but like moths to a flame, they all stopped and looked up when Victor opened that door and let in some light.
They all just stopped and looked, you know? Like, they were frozen like statues. And they just stared with this look of shock and despair, like deer in headlights. Then, Uncle Victor peeped his head in through the doorway, and he said ‘Count me among thy saints’.
And they all just stared back at him with these sheepish expressions, not saying ANYTHING. No one said a damn thing. And among them were every single kind of person imaginable; young, old, black, white, brown, you name it.
Dr. Ward: How many people were there?
Tommy: That labyrinth looked to be miles long. Because what we were looking at was just one single level of the labyrinth. It stretched far and wide, more levels went up toward the sky, and for miles down into the depths of the earth. To answer your question: there WERE billions of people when I was there. But as for the people that have been, are, and WILL be there…infinite.
[Long Silence]
Dr. Ward: I…I don’t understand.
Tommy: This place, this labyrinth…it is the netherworld that awaits every living person. No matter who one is or what one does in this life, sooner or later, he will be taken to Victor’s labyrinth to wander through darkness. [Pause] Uncle Victor’s playhouse [Laughs].
After that, Uncle Victor brought me back to the dock, but before I went home, he winked at me and he said ‘See ya soon, kiddo.’
Dr. Ward: [Takes deep breath] Um…er…
[Pause]
Tommy: You wanted to know. Now you know.
Dr. Ward: Well, Tommy…it’s clear you’re, uh…
[Pause]
Dr. Ward: [Clears throat] ‘Scuse me. Um. [Pause] Tommy, it’s clear you’re going through a lot, mentally, right now. Uh, we’re gonna have to wrap this session, um…anything else you wanna say?
Tommy: [Laughs] I can see I’ve struck a chord.
Dr. Ward: Okay, so, I think this session is –
Tommy: I thought I said that not believing me would be your best course of action. But it seems to me, from your sudden nervousness, that you do believe me, at least partially.
Dr. Ward: [To guard outside] Guard!
Tommy: What’s wrong, doc? Don’t like when other people do a psychological evaluation of you?
Dr. Ward: You’re not well, okay? [To guard outside] Hey!
Tommy: Who are you yelling to?
Dr. Ward: The guard out there…[To guard outside] Hello?
Tommy: He can’t hear you. You know why? Because I’ve deemed it so.
Dr. Ward: Oh my god…your…
[Long Silence]
Tommy: Hmm?
Dr. Ward: Your eyes. What’s happening to your eyes?
[Pause]
Dr. Ward: Holy fu – [Pause] They’re glowing…they’re orange.
Tommy: It’s hellfire. The hellfire that I’ve seen. You’re seeing what I’ve seen.
Dr. Ward: Holy shit. Somebody help! Somebody!
Tommy: Rachel, didn’t you listen to what I told you? There’s no ‘HELP’! Nobody to help. No cavalry coming over the hill to save you, or I, or ANYBODY. There’s just me, you…and Uncle Victor, too.
Dr. Ward: [Panicked] Hello? Anyone?
Tommy: Now, if you’ll excuse me. My uncle is waiting for me.
Dr. Ward: Oh my g – [Pause] Oh my god!
[Dr. Ward screaming]
[Burning sound]
Dr. Ward: Someone! He’s on fire! HELP!
[Dr. Ward screaming]
TAPE ENDS