Prelude – Uncle Victor
I once heard a professor of psychology say that “old memories become future personality”. Immediately after hearing this, I thought of a very, very old memory, one that has followed me my entire life. This memory does not stay with me like a shadow, or a devil on the shoulder, but rather pops up every now and then, sort of like a common cold. And, without fail, I have a dream about it exactly twice a year, once in the spring, and once in the fall.
I was not more than a year old when my parents first took me on a trip to Disney World. Now, I must confess, THIS part of the story is one I do not remember, but it is important. During our time at Disney World, my parents were approached by a camera crew. The camera crew was filming a music video for a Disney sing-along special, and they wanted to get footage of me. The music video in question was for the song “You Must’ve Been a Beautiful Baby”. My parents obliged, and so, I was well on my way to becoming a movie star.
All jokes aside, I first remember seeing this music video when I was two years old. My parents sat me down in front of the TV, and I began watching this Disney sing-along special, hosted by the animated ant, Flik, from “A Bug’s Life”. Soon, we arrived at the music video for “You Must’ve Been a Beautiful Baby”, the one that I was featured in for a few seconds. Immediately when the song began playing, I felt like something was wrong. This Disney remix of “You Must’ve Been a Beautiful Baby” was sung loudly by a chorus of children, but it sounded strangely unsettling. The mishmash of Disney cartoon characters and little kids at Disney world only added to my unsettlement.
But the most unsettling part of all was when my parents began shouting “THERE YOU ARE! THERE YOU ARE!”, and I saw myself on screen, among the cartoon characters and the unnerving music. I soon after told my parents that I no longer wished to see the video.
“I don’t like the Disney video”, I would tell them.
Confused, my parents shelved the tape, keeping it only as memorabilia, nothing more. A few times throughout my childhood, I have returned to the video: once in kindergarten, once in 5th grade, and then again in college. Each and every time, I feel the same unsettling feeling that I did when I was two years old. I cannot attempt to explain why this video creeps me out so much. Even when I am watching the most frightening of horror movies, I cannot match that “off” feeling I get when watching the Disney video.
There are many other crazy aspects to this memory. I had to see a therapist in 5th grade upon viewing the tape again. As I said before, I have a dream about it twice a year. But perhaps the craziest part about this memory of viewing that unsettling tape at two years old, is that it is my very first memory…
UNCLE VICTOR
by Jake Wiklacz & Edward Taveras
What you are about to read are leaked psychotherapy notes from the office of Georgia Roana, Ph.D., in Springfield Nebraska, as well as an additional set of notes from the office of Thomas Rodarald, Ph.D., in Springfield, Nebraska. Reader discretion is advised.
Georgia Roana, Ph.D.
2020 Oak Av
Springfield, Nebraska
Date of Exam: 12/15/1997
Time of Exam: 4:00 PM
Patient Name: Jill Ingram
Patient Number: 73849563848
Age: 17
Psychotherapy Note
Jill still has feelings of insecurity and paranoia. She reports constantly feeling like she is being watched and that something is going to go wrong. She does not trust her family or her friends. She also claims to have “the memory of a goldfish”, and sometimes attempts to recall memories both positive and negative. Jill also reports having repressed memories, which she speculates may be false memories, specifically of a man who calls himself “Uncle Victor”.
She reports having a vague, possibly false memory of sitting in her living room while being home alone, at about the age of 12. She reports that after watching TV for a while in her living room, a man named “Uncle Victor” entered from another room in the house and shouted “It’s me! It’s your Uncle Victor!”, all the while flailing his arms around in a cartoony, clownish manner.
She reports that this “Uncle Victor” was tall (around 6 feet 7 inches), around the age of 50 or so, thin, and balding. He would make quite large movements with his arms, as if trying to appear large. Jill claims that, at the time, she felt very comforted by the presence of Uncle Victor, and recognized him as a longtime family member. However, she states that she not only does not recall his departure from her home, but also that she does not have an uncle named “Victor”. Jill cannot seem to clearly communicate whether this was a dream, a repressed memory, or a completely false memory.
MENTAL STATUS: Jill presents a case of paranoia, as well as the false memory phenomena. Insecurity and possible pantophobia.
LEVEL OF CARE JUSTIFICATION: Jill continues to need outpatient treatment. She continues to exhibit paranoid behaviors that interfere with her day-to-day functioning and requires continued treatment.
CONTENT OF THERAPY: This session focused on the problem of coping with Jill’s paranoia and repressed/false memories.
Georgia Roana, Ph.D.
2020 Oak Av
Springfield, Nebraska
Date of Exam: 12/22/1997
Time of Exam: 4:00 PM
Patient Name: Jill Ingram
Patient Number: 73849563848
Age: 17
Psychotherapy Note
Jill expressed an interest in Recovered Memory Therapy in order to get to the bottom of her memories of “Uncle Victor”. She believes that these repressed or false memories are somehow connected to her current paranoia and insecurity. Jill agreed to take part in age regression therapy.
I first wanted to introduce Jill to the process of age regression. After having her mind perform certain exercises, I asked Jill to think back to an event that she had not thought of since the day it happened. When asked about the event she had thought of, Jill said that she could picture herself running and laughing. She stated that she could remember that it was night time, she was 8 years old, and she was playing tag with her friends. Jill further stated that she and her friends had been hiding in the neighbor’s bushes. Their neighbors were very friendly, and didn’t mind.
Jill said she was hiding from her friend during tag. Her friend was “it”. I asked her what her friend’s name was. She said that her friend’s name was Chloe. Jill said that, during the game of tag, she had been wearing a dark green shirt, shorts, and athletic shoes. It was late October, and the ground was littered with dead leaves. Jill was able to recall the exact moment that her friend, Chloe, found her in the bushes and tagged her. She said that, as she was hiding, she was staring at a rooster weather vane on the top of her neighbors’ pool house. As she stared at it, she felt Chloe’s hand make sudden contact with her shoulder, as Chloe shouted “Gotcha!”
After this exercise, I told Jill that we would give her mind a rest for now. However, we would do the exercise again during our next session, after the holidays. She is hoping that next time we will be able to use the exercise to deal with her repressed memories.
MENTAL STATUS: Jill still exhibits paranoid behavior during her day-to-day life, and still feels the presence of a vague, unknown evil.
LEVEL OF CARE JUSTIFICATION: Jill continues to require outpatient treatment. She continues to exhibit paranoid behaviors that interfere with her day-to-day functioning and requires continued treatment.
CONTENT OF THERAPY: This session’s focus was to prepare Jill’s mind for age regression exercises on her more unnerving repressed memories.
Georgia Roana, Ph.D.
2020 Oak Av
Springfield, Nebraska
Date of Exam: 1/07/1998
Time of Exam: 2:00 PM
Patient Name: Reese Baxter
Patient Number: 73649663848
Age: 18
Psychotherapy Note
Reese feels extremely depressed. He reports that, almost every night, he lies in bed awake and thinks about how meaningless his life feels. He feels alone, even in the presence of his family or his friends. Reese feels frustrated by the fact that he always feels lonely, saying that it is because he thinks he is not supposed feel lonely. He is completely uninterested in eating. His mother will give him pills that make him hungry, but even then he does not want to eat. He is rapidly losing weight.
I asked Reese why he expresses such a disinterest in eating. Reese replied by saying that he was unsure, and that he just did not want to eat when he felt sad. Something about his answer did not satisfy me. I asked him if there was any possible way for him to know exactly why he never wanted to eat. Reese told me that he would rather not talk about it. I insisted for him to talk about it. After a long silence, Reese told me that it was because of a bad memory he had in his kitchen with his uncle. He stated that his uncle’s name is Victor.
MENTAL STATUS: Reese exhibits clinically depressed behavior.
LEVEL OF CARE JUSTIFICATION: Reese still requires outpatient treatment, as he exhibits symptoms of clinical depression and suicidality.
CONTENT OF THERAPY: This session’s focus was getting to know Reese, understanding his issues, and setting up possible solutions.
Georgia Roana, Ph.D.
2020 Oak Av
Springfield, Nebraska
Date of Exam: 1/10/1998
Time of Exam: 4:00 PM
Patient Name: Jill Ingram
Patient Number: 73849563848
Age: 17
Psychotherapy Note
Jill reports having a much more relaxed state of mind following the age regression exercise. She reports feeling less anxious and/or paranoid throughout the day, which has led to her being able to enjoy day-to-day activities. However, she expressed to me that she still did not yet feel ready to use the age regression exercise for unpleasant memories. We decided to use the exercise with a positive memory once more.
I began by asking Jill to travel back to the memory of her playing tag with her friends, which was the memory we used in the last session. She once again demonstrated an exceptional ability to vividly recall the memory. She could recall exactly what her friend, Chloe, was wearing and even how her hair looked.
This time during the exercise, we continued on past the point of Chloe tagging Jill. Jill then described, in detail, what she remembered about the rest of their game of tag. She stated that she leapt out from the bush and ran after Chloe, and then after one of her other friends that was playing, named Sarah. Jill further stated that she recalled chasing Sarah all the way through the neighbor’s yard and over to the side of her own house.
At this point in the exercise, Jill paused. I asked her to continue. Jill continued, but somewhat hesitantly. She stated that she recalled chasing Sarah around the corner of her house. I asked Jill what happened after she rounded the corner. Jill replied by telling me that, once she rounded the corner, there was someone waiting there for her, arms outstretched. I asked Jill who it was. Jill paused, once again. She appeared to be trying to remember who the person was. After about 7 seconds, Jill’s eyes opened and she leapt up from the couch. She appeared to be very stressed, and quickly left the room, crying.
MENTAL STATUS: At the beginning of the session, Jill seemed to be the most relaxed I have seen her. However, at the end of the session, Jill appeared to be extremely stressed and even traumatized.
LEVEL OF CARE JUSTIFICATION: Jill still has a lot of lingering trauma, and I hope she considers returning for another session.
CONTENT OF THERAPY: This session was conducted to keep Jill exercising her memory so that we may access the repressed areas.
Georgia Roana, Ph.D.
2020 Oak Av
Springfield, Nebraska
Date of Exam: 1/14/1998
Time of Exam: 2:00 PM
Patient Name: Reese Baxter
Patient Number: 73649663848
Age: 18
Psychotherapy Note
Reese is still feeling very depressed every day. Still does not eat, he is rapidly losing weight. I asked him about his bad memory involving his uncle, Victor, and why it has contributed so much to his disinterest in eating. Reese was reluctant to talk about it at first, but eventually worked up the courage.
Reese stated that when he was fifteen, his parents left him home alone for a weekend. They left him money for food. The first day, Friday, he went to get fast food. The next night, Saturday night, Reese states that when he was about to leave his house to get food, he noticed his “Uncle Victor” sitting in the kitchen. Reese said that, at the time, he recognized Victor, but was nevertheless unsettled by the fact that Victor had simply appeared out of nowhere in his kitchen and was just sitting in there with all the lights turned off.
Reese said that the man shouted “It’s me, it’s your Uncle Victor!”, before saying “You don’t have to go anywhere for food, Reese. I’ll cook you something.” Reese reports that he then sat down on the couch and watched as Uncle Victor cooked a meal by the stove while whistling some 1930’s show tune, curiously keeping all of the lights off while he cooked. At this time, Reese had an unsettling feeling, but despite this, he had no intention of getting up and leaving. Something in him told him not to, almost like it was a bad idea to do so.
Reese stated that after about 20 minutes, the meal was ready. Victor brought a plate of eggs, toast, and bacon over to Reese, setting it down in front of him, on the coffee table. Reese further stated that in that moment, he felt sort of unsettled and thus felt inclined to reject the food Victor had made for him. Once he did, Reese stated that his Uncle Victor suddenly grew extremely angry and brought his fist down hard on the coffee table, shouting “Eat the goddamn food your uncle made for you!”
I asked Reese what happened next, but Reese reports that he has no recollection of what happened after Victor yelled at him. The rest of that night is a blur in his memory. He just remembers waking up the next morning and his uncle no longer being there. Reese also reports that, upon telling his parents about what happened between him and his Uncle Victor that night, his parents replied by telling him that he does not have an uncle named Victor.
MENTAL STATUS: Reese exhibits clinically depressed behavior and seemingly repressed memories.
LEVEL OF CARE JUSTIFICATION: Reese still requires outpatient treatment, as he exhibits symptoms of clinical depression and suicidality.
CONTENT OF THERAPY: This session’s focus was to find out more about what transpired between him and his uncle, Victor.
Georgia Roana, Ph.D.
2020 Oak Av
Springfield, Nebraska
Date of Exam: 11/10/1998
Time of Exam: 1:30 PM
Patient Name: Billy Wilson
Patient Number: 73642643948
Age: 16
Psychotherapy Note
Billy has constant feelings of paranoia and also has suicidal thoughts. He does not trust anybody, especially his family members. He reports constantly feeling alone. He is wary of meeting new people, and avoids it at all costs. He says he feels like people he already knows will turn their backs on him at any second. Spends most of his time in his room, alone, watching TV. He rarely leaves except to use the bathroom and eat.
Billy also reports that he was repeatedly abused/harassed as a child, but nobody in his family believes him. I asked him if there was any reason that his family does not believe that he was abused. Billy stated that his family thinks that the abusive occurrences were simply Billy’s nightmares. I asked that Billy go into detail about his abuse.
Billy reports that, when he was eight years old, he woke up one night between the hours of 2:00 AM and 3:00 AM. He reports that upon rolling over under his sheets, he saw someone peering into his bedroom, with just their head poking in through the doorway. Billy says that it was an exceptionally tall, thin, middle-aged man, with curly, balding hair. He says that upon making eye contact with the man, the man whispered “Psst! You asleep?” Billy says that he sheepishly replied by saying “no”.
Billy says that the man then entered his room and climbed into his bed next to him. The man then rolled over, pulled the covers over himself, and began sleeping. Billy says that he was not able to sleep that night, and didn’t want to get out of bed for fear of waking the man up. Billy states that when he woke up the next morning, the man was gone. I asked Billy if he had recognized this man. Billy said that he did. We unfortunately ran out of time before we could touch upon this more, but before Billy left, I asked him if this was the only experience of this nature he had. Billy said that it was not.
MENTAL STATUS: Billy shows symptoms of clinical depression and pistanthrophobia.
LEVEL OF CARE JUSTIFICATION: Billy still requires outpatient treatment, as his depression prohibits him from enjoying his day-to-day life.
CONTENT OF THERAPY: This session’s focus was on getting to know Billy, as well as understanding the issues he struggles with.
Georgia Roana, Ph.D.
2020 Oak Av
Springfield, Nebraska
Date of Exam: 11/17/1998
Time of Exam: 1:30 PM
Patient Name: Billy Wilson
Patient Number: 73642643948
Age: 16
Psychotherapy Note
Billy and I wasted no time today as we delved deeper into his past experiences of abuse. He reports that he has not said anything to his parents about our last session, as they have heard the story many times and continue to not believe him. I asked Billy to go into detail about his other experiences of abuse. At first, Billy appeared to be very reluctant to talk about his further experiences. However, I reassured him that the information would remain absolutely confidential and that it would necessary for him to touch upon his experiences so that we could resolve his issues.
Billy reports that when he was nine years old, he awoke one night around 3:00 AM. Similarly to his first experience a year prior, he rolled over and, once again, saw the same man peering into his room from his doorway. Billy states that the man whispered something along the lines of “Psst! It’s me, your uncle. You asleep?” He states that when he did not reply, the man said “Don’t pretend you’re asleep, I can see your eyes. They’re open.”
Billy says that the tall man then entered his room and, once again, climbed into bed next to him, rolling over and falling asleep. He says that he laid awake in bed for quite some time, not being able to fall asleep. Billy states that after about 45 minutes, he had to use the bathroom very badly. As he slowly climbed out of bed, the man must have heard him, because he murmured “Uh-uh, uh-uh. Get back in bed.”
Billy says that he just stood there, contemplating running out of the room. After a few seconds, the man, his voice slightly raised, said “Get back in the fucking bed.” Billy obeyed the man and climbed back into bed. The next morning, the man was gone.
By the end of his story, Billy appears to be very unnerved. Tears are falling from his eyes. I ask him to go into detail about another instance. Billy says that he’ll think about it, possibly during our next session.
MENTAL STATUS: Billy still shows symptoms of clinical depression and pistanthrophobia.
LEVEL OF CARE JUSTIFICATION: Billy still requires outpatient treatment, as his memories of abuse are still bothering him. They are possibly repressed memories, or false memories, though he denies the possibility of the memories being false.
CONTENT OF THERAPY: This session’s focus was to explore these bad memories Billy has.
Georgia Roana, Ph.D.
2020 Oak Av
Springfield, Nebraska
Date of Exam: 12/01/1998
Time of Exam: 1:30 PM
Patient Name: Billy Wilson
Patient Number: 73642643948
Age: 16
Psychotherapy Note
Cutting straight to the chase, I asked Billy to touch upon another one of his memories of abuse. Billy was initially reluctant, so I had to assure him that it was indeed necessary to resolving his issues. Billy seemed very emotionally distraught by the thoughts of these memories, but he eventually agreed to share another one of these memories.
Billy states that when he was 10 years old, his parents had gone out for the night, leaving him home by himself. He remembers again waking up in the middle of the night, this time around 12 AM. His parents were not yet back. He says that when he awoke, he saw the same tall, thin man from before. The man was sitting at the foot of his bed, looking over his shoulder at Billy. Billy reports that the man whispered “It’s me. It’s your Uncle Victor.”
(At this point in the story, I dropped my pen and immediately became unnerved. I quickly regained my composure, however, as I did not want to further unsettle Billy. Plus, patient confidentiality came to mind when I thought of the other patients with similar stories).
Billy reports that Uncle Victor then climbed into bed and rolled over next to him, just like he had done before. Uncle Victor soon began snoring loudly. Billy says that after about 30 minutes, he felt overwhelmed by fear and absolutely had to get out of that bed. He says that he slowly climbed out of bed. He says that it must have taken him at least five minutes just to get the covers off and get his feet to the floor without making any kind of noise.
Billy says that he slowly began tiptoeing away from the bed while Uncle Victor was snoring. He crept away so slowly that it took him about five seconds just to cover an inch of distance. He says that he was absolutely terrified during this. His main objective was to get out of the room and get out of the house, possibly to a neighbor’s house to call the police.
About halfway to his bedroom door, he suddenly heard Uncle Victor’s snoring stop. This made him freeze in place. He held his breath for a while, careful to not make any noise. After about fifteen seconds, Uncle Victor said, under his breath, “Get in the fucking bed.” Billy was too terrified to get back into the bed, and started walking toward his door again. The second he started walking toward his door, Uncle Victor shot up out of bed and screamed “Get the fuck back here!”, and began chasing after Billy. Billy ran down the stairs while Victor chased after him. He ran all the way to his front door and ran out of the house.
Billy says that after running out of his house, he looked back over his shoulder to see if Uncle Victor was still following him. Victor was not there. All he saw over his shoulder was his wide-open front door. He says that the dark, empty void beyond the door was terrifying to him. He spent the rest of the night sleeping in a neighbor’s yard, where he was found the next morning.
I was in absolute shock after hearing Billy’s story. Unsure of what to do next, I asked him to describe Uncle Victor’s face to me. I figured a composite sketch was in order. This had to be reported to the authorities.
Attached to the following page is a scanned copy of the composite sketch, going off of Billy’s description of “Uncle Victor”.
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Thomas Rodarald, Ph.D.
Clarity for Health Therapy, 45 Harper Way
Springfield, Nebraska
PATIENT NAME Sally Roana
SOCIAL SECURITY 507-74-0276
DATE OF BIRTH 04/24/1990
VISIT DATE 11/03/1999
IDENTIFICATION This is a 9-year-old white female who lives with her mother in Springfield, Nebraska. She was referred to our offices by her mother, Georgia Roana, Ph.D.
CHIEF COMPLAINT Sally presents to our office for: Afraid of monsters in her bedroom.
HISTORY Sally was interviewed with her mother, Georgia, whose reliability is good.
Sally reports being afraid to go to bed at night. She is afraid of monsters in her closet or under her bed. She is afraid to go to sleep and will often put off sleep by reading a book. She will often leave all of the lights on in her bedroom, which affects her sleep. She is afraid to get out of bed to use the bathroom. Sally was asked when this had started. Sally reports this having started over the summer. She claims that this was not due to having seen something on TV or in a movie.
Sally was asked to recall back to the exact day during the summer that she began fearing monsters in her room. Sally reports that she and her family went camping at the end of July. She claims that during their camping trip, she was playing in the woods and got lost. Georgia confirms this story to be true. Sally reports that she was lost for a number of hours, leading into nighttime. She claims that she sat under a tree for quite some time, hoping that someone would come and find her the next morning.
Sally reports that after a little while of sitting under the tree, a tall, thin man appeared out of the darkness and lent her his hand. She claims that he told her he would help her find her way back on the condition that she sit by the campfire he had built in the woods and sing campfire songs with him. Sally claims that she followed the man through the woods, to his campfire. She reports vaguely recognizing the man as they sang campfire songs. After a while, the man is reported to have lead Sally back to her campsite.
Georgia reports not having seen the man, rather only seeing Sally come out of the woods. Georgia also says that this therapy session was the first she had heard about Sally vaguely recognizing the man.
I asked Sally where she recognized him from. Sally says that she could not put her finger on it, but that she thinks the man might be a family member. I asked her why she thought this. Sally says that it is because when the man returned her to her campsite and she thanked him, he replied by saying “You’re welcome. You can call on your uncle Victor anytime you need to.”
Once Sally said this, her mother seemed to grow extremely distressed during our session. Georgie may need a private session of her own. She seemed quite unstable after hearing her daughter’s story.
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If you recall an old man that is tall and is thin
He wears a black suit and has a wide grin
He popped into your room while you were asleep
Laid by your side and began to count sheep
You remember him appearing to you in the night
He patted your head and tucked you in, tight
If this sounds familiar, I tell you ‘beware’
For it is likely your Uncle Victor was there